I'd love to lift you up, since I am strong enough in body
to be of such assistance when you're finished on the potty.
So, tell me when you're through, and I will do as I have promised.
Now, rise. Don't be surprised that I should bring up Dylan Thomas
in this auspicious moment. Let thoughts foment, and consider
what is most important when you’re sitting on the shitter.
So I'm just sitting there minding my own business
when the guy in the next stall starts telling me his
life story like he's in the confessional, and I'm his
parish priest, so I said excuse me, I think you have
me confused with somebody else, and he says no,
he just needed to talk to somebody but didn't have
anyone who'd listen or take him more seriously than
a good healthy shit. So there we were, just sitting
and talking, and I wish I could tell you what we said,
but of course that shit is just between me and him.